Yes, I’m one of those annoying assholes who does an end of the year “taking stock” kind of post most years. Hell, I may even set resolutions for the new year. Can you believe that actually bothers some people? Like it’s any skin off your nose what I choose to do with my little corner of the interwebs. haha.

Let me move on before I get any more snarky.

The themes of today’s post are (in no particular order): upheaval, heartbreak, unemployment, remodeling, moving, and travel.

In April, a 7 year relationship ended. I reeled for a long time afterwards. If I can offer some advice:

  1. If you have to move out of a home you shared with a significant other, make the move ASAP. I physically left right away, but it took me a long time to get my belongings out of the house. Truth be told, I have stuff left to get, still. And my cat. My cat is still there. Leaving things linger for any amount of time only delays healing.
  2. If you have any self-preservation instincts whatsoever, do NOT sleep with your ex. Nine out of ten times, this is not a sign of them wanting to work things out with you, and you will only end up feeling bad about yourself. 99.9% of the time, you are not that one time that will get a different outcome. This is just a BAD IDEA.

I quit a job that I loved, that paid well, and where I worked with people I love. Why did I leave? Because it was killing my soul. I’m still trying to figure out how this reconciles, me loving the job while having my soul killed. I think it was the process. I enjoyed the process, but when it got down to how specific people were affected, that was the part I couldn’t handle. I knew something was up when I had to open an FMLA case for anxiety. So… I left. In doing that, I gave up a LOT. In doing that, I am hoping I have saved my sanity. I do know that my job is not the reason I’ve sat around for hours crying without being able to stop. But I miss those people every day. Every day I have to come to a place that is devoid of joy and spirit.

I moved to Cleveland. I’ve always wanted to live in a major city, ideally, Cleveland. I’m helping friends renovate their rental house in exchange for a place to live. We’ve built a whole new bathroom and kitchen. Trust and believe we have a lot more to do, but we will get there.

Kitchen, as viewed from the dining room.

I adopted a dog. A silver/blue Pit Bull I named Daisy-Lou. She is completely awesome.

I got a new job. I don’t make enough money. I do, however, have awesome benefits. Oh, and I don’t have to feel like my soul is being pulled out through my nostrils when I’m doing this job.

I took a lot of mini-vacations this summer. I spent quite a bit of time on Lake Erie. Water always calms me. When I got my passport in preparation for taking a long vacation in Iceland, I was so excited that I just had to break it in. I went to Canada for a few days with a friend of mine. While we were there, we did the zip-line excursion near the falls. It was pretty damn cool. The best part was talking my friend into doing it. She’s the last person I ever thought I’d see dangling from a line over a canyon or whatever they call it. Mad props to my HLM, Mary.

I went to Iceland for roughly 2 weeks. It was amazing, and I didn’t want to come back. I already told you about snorkeling along the Silfra Rift in another blog, so let me share a snapshot of me on an Icelandic horse (they get offended if you call them “ponies”).

His name is Garpur, and he is amazeballs.

and here we are.

Goals for 2020:

  1. Do more of what makes me feel good and less of what makes me feel bad. This applies literally and figuratively.
  2. Launch the podcast that Barb and I keep talking about.
  3. Learn something new every day.
  4. Make real progress on my dream of writing a book.

Happy New Year, folks.

One thought on “Personal Inventory

  1. the world
    gives you
    so much pain
    and here you are
    making gold out of it.

    there is nothing purer than that-
    rupi kaur

    Solid gold shit, to be precise…

    I saw you perform a marriage ceremony this year! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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